Unrequited
by quiple
Summary: Regret. That was the Claire's dominant feeling. Regret that she didn't tell the older blonde that when she said to her "I love you," she had meant it in the way it was supposed to be meant when you say those words to someone you truly love.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey everyone! It's been a while since I last published/updated something. Blame my massive writers block and every single one of my teachers is trying to suffocate my grade with homework and assignments. Ah well. Anyways, thanks as always to my lovely beta-reader OVERKILL-MAX. Enjoy the short one-shot!**

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It was dark and raining heavily outside Claire's window, matching her mood exactly. Wiping her eyes again, she hugged the only piece of clothing she had of Elle more tightly and inhaled her scent again. It had been a week since Elle vanished from the Bennett household, leaving behind only a plain white shirt. Claire had discovered it the morning the family realised she was gone. On top of it, there was a note, bearing the words 'keep it. As a memory I'm not coming back, I'm sorry.'

She squeezed her eyes shut, tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes. She missed her so much. Why did she leave? That question repeated itself over and over and over again in her head like a mantra, cutting away every other thought that she had. She had nothing to distract her from the emptiness and loneliness of Elle's absence. Noah, seeing Claire's despair, had left to try and track her down. He warned her that Elle was a master at disappearing without a trace, so there was a small chance that he would be able to find her. Sandra was out grocery shopping and Lyle was at a friend's house studying, leaving her alone to wallow in her misery and regret. Her sun had imploded, leaving her world a dark and desolate place.

Regret. That was the Claire's dominant feeling. Regret that she never got to show Elle that water wasn't as evil as she thought it was. Regret that she had dated West just to try to forget. Regret that she didn't tell the older blonde that when she said to her "I love you," she had meant it in the way it was supposed to be meant when you say those words to someone you truly love.

Sniffing, she sat up and looked around her room, looking for the thing she wanted. Her eyes landed on a small, pink photo album that contained a multitude of pictures of both of them together. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she walked over to the album. As she picked it up, a small rectangular object fell out. At first, she thought it was only a picture, but then she realised that it was bigger than most of the pictures in the album. Frowning, Claire bent down to pick it up and turned it over. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognised the untidy scrawl of Elle's handwriting on the front. She had written her name on the envelope, and nothing else. With shaking fingers, she turned the envelope over and slid it open. She removed the piece of paper and unfolded it carefully.

It was a letter that read:

_Dear Claire: _

_I'm sorry that I_

_I know that I'm an ass for running_

_I need to tell you that_ –these three lines were scratched out, barely legible by Claire before the letter continued.

_I know you're wondering why I ran away. I'm a coward for running away, and I'm sorry if I hurt you by doing that. Out of the twenty five years of my life, this is probably the hardest thing I've had to do. I'm scared because I don't trust myself when it comes to emotions. I hope what I feel is what I think it is, because it's fantastic. Well, it was fantastic until I realized something else. I wish it didn't have to be like this, because things like these should be said in person, not over a letter. _

_I like watching you sometimes. I like watching your face when we watch movies together. I like watching your expression change whenever you have your constant epiphanies, when you're happy, or excited. I wish I could tell you this in person, because I want to watch you experience every emotion as I tell you this. _

_You're probably wishing that I would just tell you what I need to. So I will. Here it is:_

_I love you._

_I'm in love with you._

_It's difficult for me to admit this, even to myself. Daddy always told me that love was a sign of weakness. He always taught me that love was evil, and that it never really ended happily. But with you, it doesn't feel like a weakness. It doesn't feel like something evil. But I wish so much that it won't turn out badly. I love you, but I don't deserve you. You are so beautiful, so perfect and innocent and I'm this...monster. I'm jaded and flawed in more ways than you can think of. _

_Don't get me wrong, it's not easy being in love with you. Like there's this...hole in my chest that refuses to heal and I'm running out of ways to numb the pain until I can learn how to fill it up again. It was great being friends with you, but every time you smiled at me or fell asleep on me after a movie, it would hurt so much because I knew that you would never love me back and I would never have the chance to be with you. _

_I've tried so hard to forget how I feel about you. Alcohol, drugs, one night stands...none of them worked because none of those things compares to you. None of them keep me together. None of them comfort me. None of them hold me after I wake up screaming from a nightmare fuelled by the memories of my childhood. And after some time, I've learnt that nothing can rid me of these feelings. The cure to my pain is the cause of my pain._

_So that's why I ran away. To try and at least numb the feelings I have for you and heal the hole in my heart. I can't stand by and watch someone else hold you, touch you and kiss you the way I so desperately want to. It simply hurts too much. It hurts that when other people say that they love you, you believe them, but when I say it to you, you simply smile and hug me, never really understanding that I love you as more than a friend. Because unless hell freezes over and the Notebook isn't the most I'm-vomiting-because-it's-too-overly-romantic movie of all time to me, that's all I'll ever be to you. A friend. _

_I want you to know how I feel. I want to be completely honest with you. I want you to be happy. I want to be the source of your happiness. I want to hold you in my arms and never let go. I want the words "I love you" to be the first thing you hear in the morning and the last thing you hear before you fall asleep. I want to say those words to you, with you to knowing that I mean them. I want to stay forever by your side and shield you from any harm and danger, but I can't. I wish I had some hope over you feeling the same way about me, but I know that will never happen. _

_I'm not coming back. I'm sorry, but remember, despite everything that will happen; I will never get over you. Your name will forever be engraved into my heart and as long as humans have the ability to breathe and the sun keeps shining, I will never stop loving you. Don't forget me, because I don't remember anything else. _

_Forever yours,_

Elle

The letter dropped from Claire's fingers, fluttering softly to the floor. Her whole body felt numb as a fresh wave of tears flooded out of her and she cursed herself for being a coward and not telling Elle how she felt. If she'd had the guts to do it, she wouldn't be stuck in this position and feel this way. She didn't even bother to stop the flow of tears. She just sat there until the loud ringing of the doorbell indicated that someone was at the front door. Standing up, she wiped her face with the sleeve of her jumper and shuffled out of her room, down the stairs and to the front door. She gripped the cold doorknob and took in a shaky breath to compose herself before opening the door. She gasped, a shock running through her body as her eyes fell upon the blonde, drenched and slightly shivering figure in front of her. Her body heaved with renewed sobs as the other person offered a weak smile.

"Elle?"

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**A/N: Please review...*hopeful face***


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, I have decided to continue this. Or at least give it an ending or something like that. Sorry it took so long though. Un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine. Oh, it's also kinda short, so I apologize for that as well. Dunno when chapter three will be up o_O  
Enjoy!**

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It was dark and raining heavily, matching Elle's mood exactly. Sighing, she traced the photo of Claire with her finger again. She was sitting on the bed in her motel room while she stared blankly at the used tissues, burger wrappings, chip packets and empty slushie cups littered the floor. The television was on, but Elle wasn't watching it. Sighing again, she reached over and grabbed the slushie cup resting on the bedside table, gripping the straw between her lips but couldn't find the energy to take a pull. She chewed the straw for a couple of seconds before putting the cup down again. The radio was blaring whatever song that was playing at full blast, but she didn't hear that either. Nothing could distract her from her thoughts.

It had been a week since Elle had run away from the Bennet household. She knew she was a coward for doing that, but it simply hurt too much. It had taken every ounce of willpower not to sprint to her car and drive full speed back to the Bennett house. It had taken all her self control not to put the battery back into her phone and call Claire or hope that Noah might use a cell phone tracking device so he could find her and drag her back. Even though it had only been a week, she was already worrying that she was beginning to forget the minor details about her. She could never forget the features of her face or the sound of her voice and laugh. Those were permanently seared into the tissues of her brain.

She put the heel of her hands on her temple, kneading the small bit of flesh there. Her mind was buzzing, thoughts jumbled and swirling around with great speed, making it impossible to concentrate on one particular one. She got up and after a bit of foraging, she retrieved the small notebook and a black pen from under a burger wrapping. When her thoughts became too chaotic, she would write down anything that came to her mind in the notebook. It mostly consisted of letters she had written for Claire. Opening the book to a fresh page, she uncapped the pen and put it to the page. She paused for a second to vainly try and gather some of her thoughts, and began to write.

_Dear Claire,_

_It's me again. I still think about you every day you know. How could I not? I'm trying to get over you, to forget about you, but feelings as strong as these don't go away in a week. If they did, it would just prove that I really didn't love you that much. Even though I am trying, deep down I know that it is impossible to forget about you, because I remember everything about you. I remember every movement, every word you spoke to me and every hug you gave me. There are no words to describe the feelings I have when I'm with you. You are the most amazing and selfless person I have ever met in my life and you make me want to be better. But love and pain aren't two different things anymore; they are the same thing to me._

I'm still sorry I can't be better for you. I'm sorry that I can't be l can't be any less worthless. I have nothing to hold onto in this world. I have nothing to show for myself and nothing to offer anyone. I'm trying to find somewhere where I belong, but maybe I don't belong with anyone or anywhere. Maybe one day I will be able to forget about you and find someone else, but I doubt that. Maybe one day I'll look back on my life and laugh at myself for being such an idiot. But I know that day is not today, or tomorrow, or any day in the seeable future.

_The fact that I still see you in my dreams doesn't help. Every night when I close my eyes I see you standing there, silently asking with your eyes why I left. The pain I see in your eyes is enough to wake me with a jolt. _

_I love you, but you deserve someone so much better than me. You deserve someone that will make you happy. You deserve someone that won't complicate your life. Someone that isn't as messed up as I am. Someone that won't hurt you. Until I find a way to forget, I will love you forever and ever. I promise that you will always be the keeper to the key that unlocks my heart. I just wish that I had you, or someone like you, but I know that's impossible, because no one can measure up to you. I just wish it didn't have to be like this. I'm sorry._

_I love you,  
Elle_

Tears welling up in her eyes, she threw the notebook and pen away from her and fell forward onto her pillows. She cried silently, letting all the anguish from her stupid, stupid decision wash over her. She wished that she could resurrect her father just to kill him again slowly for fucking her up so badly. The man had taken away her childhood, her innocence and her basic human instincts and because of that, he had taken away her one chance to be happy.

She stayed in the curled up position on the bed until she heard the familiar sound of someone teleporting. She froze for a few seconds before wiping her eyes on her sleeve and sat up. Turning around, she scowled.

"How the fuck did you find me?" she snapped at the person.

Peter shrugged. "I'm an empath remember? I absorbed that Molly kid's ability to find people and here I am".

"Well fuck you and your stupid sponge ability then" Elle grumbled, pushing herself off the bed to stand on the opposite side of the room and wrap her arms around herself.

An awkward silence filled the room. Peter was eyeing her, head cocked to the side with an expression of deep interest on his face, like he was trying to figure her out. Elle hugged herself even tighter while staring at a stain in the carpet with sudden interest.

After a while, Peter finally spoke up. "You really do love her, don't you?" 

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**A/N: Reviews are love ^_^**


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